Monday, February 7, 2011

If It's Bad Advice You Want...

... then it's bad advice you'll get.  Welcome to Tara's Bad Advice, the blog to come to when you need something a little bit different.  Let's face it, there's plenty of good advice columnists out there, why not try something else?

We'll start with a couple of questions that came in via email. Lee writes: oh great hair is dry and frizzy and is so long it gets stuck underneath me when I try to roll over in bed...what on earth shall I do? 

Well, Lee, the way I see it, there is only one solution to your problem. Shave your head. Sure, you could moisturize your flowing locks, and tie it back when you go to sleep, but that seems like it would take an awful lot of effort. The world today is so hectic, who has time for all that?  By shaving your head, you free up a lot of time that could be put towards other tasks, like, oh, I don't know, writing angry letters to government officials, or  knitting pajamas for your cats. Hope that helps.

This came in from B. McDizzy

Dear Ask Tara,

I have this unnatural fear of dirty dishes....I dream about them even. I put them in the dishwasher, run the machine and return to find them back in the sink,

This is beginning to affect my marriage as I fear my husband is actually using clean dishes and then leaving them in the sink....

When I question him, he tells me it couldn't possibly be him because he would leave them on the counter, table or stove. He does not know we have a sink or a dishwasher.

Upon reflection I find this to be true.

Please save my marriage oh wise Tara and advise me what to do with these wandering dirty dishes.


McConfused in the McKitchen

First off, is your name B. McDizzy, or McConfused? If you don't know your own name, I'm not sure I can be much help to you. I'll try though. Hmmm. This is a tough one. As I see it, you have two options: you could stop washing the dishes, or you could run off with the Maytag repairman.

Both options have their pros and cons. If you stop washing the dishes, you'll end the cycle. Your husband will return the dishes in the state he found them in. Having said that, your husband will be eating off of dirty dishes, which likely isn't that healthy. 

If you run off with the Maytag guy (who I hear has a lot of free time to devote to that "special lady" in his life), you won't need to worry about the dishes, since you won't be around to see them. On the flip side, this move will probably not help your marriage. 

I hope that I've answered your questions, Lee and McWhatever. You're welcome. ;)

If you have a question for the Advice Lady, send an email to: